Chanukah Line-Up by Rose Proffitt

This year’s Festival of Lights took an unexpected turn when four gonks were caught in the middle of some highly suspicious holiday “activities.” The evidence? Jelly-filled doughnuts, piles of gelt, glitter everywhere, and one menorah that may have been used in a dance routine.

Here’s what the investigation uncovered:
Gonk 17 – Accused of eating all the sufganiyot and claiming it was “for quality control.”
Gonk 18 – Caught trying to spin five dreidels at once. Witnesses reported he shouted, “I can stop anytime!”
Gonk 19 – Found hiding behind a mountain of challah, insisting it was his “emotional support loaf.”
Gonk 20 – Seen stacking gelt coins into a tower and declaring himself “King of the Eight Nights.”

Despite their questionable behaviour, spirits are high, the lights are bright, and celebrations continue — with slightly fewer doughnuts than expected.

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